Thursday, April 29, 2010


To back up my last post even better:

Please pass it on!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Grief in Many Forms, (i.e. Infertililty)

My head spins in a 1000 directions most days. You know you are a different person. Grief has so many faces and phases. This particular post is about infertility as it relates to IVF or IF procedures.

A dear friend in Sweden, Angie, has recently found out they may need to go through IVF. She is devastated, as she has every right to grieve losing their ability to conceive naturally, as does anyone going through IF. What is puzzling is that they conceived naturally last year, but unfortunately miscarried their little boy Adam. I remember when Mike and I found out we had to go through IVF 4 years ago, it was very difficult to process at first. But that is all I remember before jumping into the "process" two weeks later. At the time, I did not know infertility was a form of grief, and looking back, it all seems like a blur. I knew NOTHING, and it was alot of information to take in. Now that I know so much more and am able to share my experiences with others, I know I can make a resource to many. Which brings me to asking many of you reading this to send some prayers and/or advice to Angie, as her and her hubby have an appointment tomorrow with the RE to discuss their options and further results.

If anyone has any questions on IVF, there are many resources out there including many of us who have gone through it that would be more than willing to share. If you would like to comment with your experience, and/or a link to a helpful website, link or post, feel free to do so here and I will reference this post on the side of my blog as a quick reference.

Thanks dear friends xxxooo Love, Nan

Friday, April 16, 2010


I wish I could easily access my roof and get a better picture of this, if only. It was actually a double rainbow but was kind of hard to catch on the camera.

It goes to someone out there who knows who she is :) :) :) From me and my girls :)

I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but in no way does that mean I have stopped doing things for my baby girls. In fact I have been spending most of my time in the garden and staring at their tree, taking various pictures (couple hundred!). Below, we recently planted three new flowering perennials that are in the row closest to the grass.

We also had to plant something in the place of the azalea, as it did not make it through the winter unfortunately. It was a beautiful pink and white one that I have many pics of from last year. The new plant is a pink heather and it fits the area perfectly and will not take over the garden.

Here is another tree pic below. I love taking pictures of the tree from this perspective (my favorite perspective) looking up to Heaven. I even sometimes see shapes in the clouds, like an angel wing in this one.

And with the sun beaming through...

The tree still has pink blooms hanging on, but they have mostly been replaced with lots of bright green leaves and its so full and beautiful. The pink blooms are now making 'snow' on the ground. This garden was the perfect thing for me to honor my angels and spend time out there feeling the closest to them I can possibly get in that moment. I have lots of moments and places, but the garden is really helpful to stay positive and smile.

Do you have anything you like to do that reminds you the most of your angel(s) and makes you feel some presence and smile? I would love to hear it.

Sending out hugs xxx
Love, Nan

Monday, April 5, 2010

Awards and Stuff :)

Here is the first award...

I am honored to accept the Beautiful Blogger Award from Deni @ Making Our Troxclair Family, and also from Shandrea @ Loving My Angels, from Kristin @ My Family of Three, and from Mary @ Our Angel Amiee. Thank you so much ladies, I am honored by each and every one of you, and I feel so incredibly humbled that so many find my blog creation for my babies as beautiful :-) xxxooo

Here are the rules for the award:

~Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
~Copy the award and paste it to your blog.
~Tell us 7 interesting facts about yourself.
~Nominate 7 bloggers that you love and link to their blog.

So, 7 ‘interesting’ (I hope) facts about me...

1 ~ I grew up as a total tomboy with my best friend Aimee. We spent most of our childhood time walking around in the woods without shoes and looking for worms in the dirt, salamanders under rocks and crayfish in the creek. We even made a fishing pole with a stick, string and a paperclip shaped like a hook, and caught blue gills with it, believe it or not. I still like to go camping and fishing and do stuff that the boys like to do!

2 ~ I am a terrible dancer, but I like to try, especially after a glass of wine…or two.

3 ~ I had six toes on my left foot when I was born, it was an extra big toe and my parents had it removed when I was 8 months old.

4 ~ Mike and I met online in 2000, twas love at first sight J

5 ~ I have two dogs, three cats and three geckos, I’ve always been surrounded by animals my entire life.

6 ~ I can look at any room in my house and have some sort of reminder of my baby girls in Heaven (I place things that way). It assures me that I will never stop thinking about them and I love to add anything I find with three butterflies on it to the mix. Sometimes that includes a lot of impulse purchasing!

7 ~ I love to do laundry, my water bill shows it too…I need one of those energy efficient washers and dryers that hold 50 pairs of jeans J

And now 7 bloggers to be nominated (sorry if you have already!):

Jennifer @ The Blue Sparrow

Nicolle @ One who flys above and one who flutters within

Andrea @ Julia, Our Christmas Angel

Rachel @ Three Butterflies and a Monkey

Katy @ In Hannah’s Honor

Christy @ Almost a Mother

Nichole @ Our Journey for Another Blessing

Please visit each of their blogs and share some love!!

A the Second Award....

I am also honored to accept the Making Lemonade out of Lemons Award from Shandrea @ Loving My Angels. Thank you so much dear friend, you navigate this process with grace and a ray of sunshine and I am grateful for you.

Here are the award rules:

- Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
- Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.
- Link the nominees within your post.
- Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
- Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

So, here's who I'd like to share this award with...

EVERYONE who reads this…as I feel we have all had to make the best of our horrible situations and are just trying to survive everyday without our babies. Feel free to take this award and post it on your blog :) (((HUGS)))

Now on to my other stuff :) ...

Michelle @ Missing Juanito dyed Easter Eggs for lots of our babies in Heaven. So sweet! Thank you so much for thinking of my precious girls :)

To my beautiful baby girls, this is from your Mom-Mom for Easter, she loves you so much:

(Butterflies Love My Garden)

And if you want to stare more at the tree – feel free – I know I do!! It feels and smells as pretty as it looks...I love it so much that I've taken almost a hundred pictures of it so far this Spring!

Love, Nan xxxooo

Friday, April 2, 2010

Love At First Bloom

Thank you baby girls, we got the message....we love you xxxooo