This is for all of you that read my blog! For reading about my girls, for supporting me on good and bad days, for getting through your own struggles and still reaching out, for virtual hugs on sad days, and for just being you. From my angel girls to you and your angels, the last flower of the season from their garden (with a little ladybug on it!):
We have had some erractic weather where we live, and Fall is slowly but surely setting in. Ultimately, the gardening season is over, I've spent alot of money on memorial things and quite honestly I'm having trouble trying to find the next things I want to do to honor our girls. It's hard because short of wanting and affording an atrium in my house (ha ha), not to mention having to build that and make a cathedral ceiling that I do not currently have (never gonna happen), my gardening is on hold. My flowers are on hold, and my picture taking is on hold. So I can't even do a few pictures for babylost moms, my little side project I was trying to do from my girls garden. So, what can I do? I thought about learning how to knit, or hitting the craft store to see if anything strikes me as a project for them, I am not that crafty. I will probably come up with something, but for now, it's hard to have stopped all of what I worked so hard on. It was my little piece of alone time to feel their presence and remember them. I'll share if I come up with something new. Love, Nan xo
Thinking of all of the babylost parents out there, you are all in my thoughts and prayers, and these candles are for your angels also.
I spent the evening with my sister and my two nieces, they joined me to light the candles. I wept for my baby girls before they got here, but felt a calm over me when they arrived. It was nice to have their company, thank you so much for being here! I love you.
Is this a sunflower??? I didn't order a sunflower but I think I got one when I first planted the babies' garden...how cool!!! Does anyone know? I have been waiting to see what this was going to be since May!!!
I stumbled across this poem today and it made me cry happy tears to think of you thinking of me. Love, Mommy xo
Dear Mommy, Before we said our first hello, the time had already passed. For when you held us in your arms, We had gone to heaven to rest. We felt angelic tears down our cheeks, and watched you as you wept. We wish we could have changed it all, Your tears touched our souls so deep. But Mommy when you are sad, please be assured we know. For death cannot take away your love, it will only continue to grow. Time and distance cannot erase, a love and bond so deep. There is no bond that can compare, and in your heart we'll keep. When you are feeling far away, and missing us so much, close your eyes and feel our wings, there soft and gentle touch. Or at night as you sleep, we'll join you in a dream. You will see us standing close to you, and we'll be lost within our wings. So dear Mommy , as you go from day to day. Find comfort in the knowledge, We are never that far away.
We found another awesome garden trinket with a butterfly on it! Thanks H.ome D.epot :) I will probably bring it in for the cold weather, as it actually attaches to the garden hose and sprinkles out water from the rim. Wouldn't want it to freeze and/or shatter. There were also some very pretty fall hanging planters that I decided would brighten up the garden a bit more. Alot of the flowers are not blooming anymore, except for one. I dont know exactly what it's going to look like, and I can't remember the name of it, but here is a close up:
I am glad I get to enjoy the girls' garden still. Soon everything will be "protected" (hopefully with a blanket made of snow!).
Another thing I wanted to mention, is that the Forum for Grieving Dads, has 21 members now since June - YAY! Although it's strange, no one is talking right now...so I suppose it has gone stale for a while, but I hope it picks up again soon, since men need support too!
Wife to a wonderful man, Stepmom to a 19 year old boy, Mom to triplet angel girls in Heaven and our earthly rainbow grasshopper arrived safe and sound in our arms on July 8th, 2010. Blogging is one of the things that help me get by everyday, and I hope what I write might help someone else feel not so alone.