Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Tuesday Link-Up With Tesha

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to those of you linking up with Tesha’s blog or just finding my blog for the first time.

I am Nan, and I lost my triplet daughters a little over 3 years ago. If you read the link “Our Story” on the right side on my blog, you will read a very early account of my feelings in very raw grief. Time has softened those rough edges, but there are days when I still need to cry an ugly cry, or just cry all day in spurts and stay in bed, and miss my babies terribly. I have learned that this is forever, and the road can be hard to navigate, but I know someday I will be with my precious girls again.

It has been very much a roller coaster ride, but through the strength of meeting other Moms who have gone through losing a child or children, I have persevered. I was able to go through one more attempt at IVF and very luckily conceive my rainbow baby Autumn, who is my world. If you want to learn more about Autumn and my struggle to get her here safe, I do have another blog, you can click here to read.

I appreciate the fact that Tesha linked up to Infertility Awareness week as well, as I like to bring awareness that not everyone can get pregnant on their own. To have any kind of treatment is very expensive and is not a guaranteed pregnancy. I wrote about it on my short post yesterday if you want to read it, but I have gone through three IVF attempts, which the 1st one we did not get pregnant, the 2nd one brought us our triplet girls in Heaven, and the 3rd one brought us our earthly baby Autumn. These processes can be so daunting, but also so worth it. I know I could not have gone through our 3rd attempt without the love, support and encouragement of my fellow loss mommies and daddies, and I very much love this community of beautiful men and women.

One more point I wanted to make. I only met Tesha about a week ago, and already I feel an instant connection with her. We met through Kelly’s Korner blog link up, so I firmly believe that these link ups work and bring many of us together to help and support eachother. Please visit Tesha’s site if you have not already done so, and send her love and support. She lost her precious Jonathan just 3 short months ago today. Oddly enough, 3 months after I lost my girls, is when I “met” Kelly from Kelly’s Korner, who kindly helped me promote our Forum for Grieving Dads. This morning, I looked back at my journey at 3 month posts from June 2009 and saw so much of myself in Tesha and where she is now. Everyone’s road is different, but we are all in this together. Tesha, I hope the day is gentle on you and I’m thinking of Jonathan with you today on his 3 month angelversary, big hugs.

May you all have a good day, and feel lifted with support and close to your children in Heaven today and always.

Much love, Nan xoxoxo

Monday, April 23, 2012

Infertility Awareness...

Way too many of us struggle with infertility in this world. I was fortunate in one aspect that I had one of the very few state mandated insurances that cover 4 IVF trials (NJ), which was the only way I was able to conceive my children. I don't like the fact that insurance dictated my ability to try though, and we lost that insurance two years ago, so no more trying for us. But, with awareness and spreading the word, we can try and get all states to mandate fertility coverage through insurance plans...please pass this message along!!!



Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Im still here.  Still.  Things still bother me.  Things still anger me.  Things still bring me to my knees.  Things still overwhelm me.  Things still give me hope.  Things still bring a smile to my face.  Things, they are just things, right?  NO.  Things....they still bother him, they still anger him, they still overwhelm him and bring him to his knees and I wonder if he sees hope and more smiles than frowns.  Grief.  Grief of losing a child(ren) is forever, but we have soft places to fall.  STILL, I'm hoping our forum is a soft place for him to fall.  Please help spread the word for our guys.  Much love, Nan

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