Monday, February 29, 2016

The Memory Box

Saturday morning, still a little foggy from waking up, I tell Autumn to get some slippers or socks on.  She replies that she has some in her closet and I watch as she opens the closet and then the dresser drawer that holds a lot of her sissies things.  She pulls out the memory box, and asks if it’s for the sissies.  Mike kind of tells her no she cannot go through those things, and then I realize she is curious and has questions and we quickly rescind the thoughts of not letting her see.  So we all sit together on the floor and proceed to open the box and explain what is in it.  We also went through the drawer which holds some blankets and hats and presents from special friends we’ve made along this difficult road.  She wanted to hold all of those keepsakes and keep them out for herself.  I said someday, when Mommy is ready.  Mike then sees the blanket they were wrapped in, in the sealed plastic bag, and proceeds to open it and tears are flowing for me and him.  Doing this openly with Autumn seems important to me, because she seems to really understand it and be sooooo empathic for her age.  Not giving her everything all at once, but just enough to answer her questions and show her its ok to ask.  I am still learning from this as well.  7 years this weekend, sigh.  I miss you so much.
PS...Bree and Andrea, she wanted the ornaments you made us the most <3 font="">
Love, Nan


  1. We always took our children to their sister's grave. You handled her questions well, although I know your hearts were breaking. Love you & will be thinking of you.