Thursday, August 6, 2009

5 Month Angelversary

Today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still on my mind at a constant pace. I thought about our girls probably 100 times throughout the day, or more. Work poses alot of distraction, but not enough to keep my mind from running away. The sadness of thinking about them is slowly starting turn to happier thoughts of where they are. It definitely takes alot of time and effort to get to a "better place" after the loss of a child or children. I imagine every month will be an angelversary, and then maybe eventually it will be every six months and then maybe every year, who knows. It's different for everyone. I visit the garden every day, look for more blooming flowers or think about what I want to plant next or when I am going to get myself to go buy mulch or look for butterflies (just one so far), cause it just feels good to devote that time to them. This weekend we will do more in the garden, stay tuned :)

Just missing you baby girls, I still can't believe you were three girls and how much fun we would have had on earth. Til' we meet in Heaven. Love Mommy xo


  1. Love to you Nan. I hope my girls are giving your girls big hugs today on their 5 month b-day. I love doing things that are dedicated to my girls, it just feels good. Hope to hear from you soon!

  2. Thinking of you and your girls today. We're at about the same place. Ella's 5 months is 8/15. I've been seeing tons of butterflies lately. Thinking of all of out butterfly babies.

  3. Thanks girls! Much love to both of you xoxoxo Nan

  4. "I still can't believe you were three girls and how much fun we would have had on earth."

    That spoke to me because I'm often even more sad that Mackenzie is gone because I was SO excited to be having a girl. I just wanted so badly to be the mommy of a little girl. I'm sorry you lost your girls!! I know we would have had so much fun parenting beautiful little girls.