Sunday, August 16, 2009

Lazy Sunday

GARDEN PROGRESS: The babies garden is growing nicely, and I have 5 out of 6 clematis climbing the fence slowly but surely. I can't wait to see it next year with flowers (hopefully). I took alot of pictures this weekend of the garden, it was calming to hang out there for most of my time.

BACKYARD PESTS: So we have these hornet-like insects invading our back and side yard, they are called Cicada Killers. They last from 4 to 6 weeks and kill the cicadas, where they then take them into their burrows underground, and they are very intimidating. The males do not have stingers, but the females do and they are twice the size of the males. They "say" the sting is not that bad, I for one do not want to find out, so I am avoiding the pool and have become prisoner of my own house! Thankfully they are not burrowing near the babies garden, or I would be going evil on them. Although I have been known to take out a "couple" pots of boiling water, which ensures the eggs won't hatch next year. Why do they like my yard? I do not see them in anyone else's except our neighbor across the street. We had them last year too. Grrr...

ABOUT AN ONLINE FRIEND STEPH: I did not ask her permission to write about her, but now that she has started a blog (YAY!), it's public so.....Steph, hope you aren't upset that I am writing about you! Here's the thing, I used to be on a forum for pregnant mommys of multiples, although I had not talked her on there. I went back to it after I lost the girls to inform everyone that we didn't make it. The outpour of support was amazing, and one of the ladies put out there that another Mom had lost her triplets too. Well, Steph had read it, and she emiled me right away, ready to offer support and that she knew what I had been through when my grief was still so very raw. She was the first person to really reach out to me, babylost triplet Mom to babylost triplet Mom, and I have always appreciated that, so so much. Since then we have become good friends, it stinks that she lives 3,000 miles away, I want to give her a hug. I am glad that she has an earthly child to love, I think it really helped her to get back on her feet, to be there for her little girl. She is an amazing and sweet soul. Please everyone, send her some love, k? Visit her here:

RANDOM STUFF: Other than that, I have not been in the nursery for some time now, not sure why. Maybe I am afraid to break down again, after having a nice long streak of more happy days now. Almost every other night before I go to bed, I keep re-playing the delivery over and over in my head, I cannot stop my mind from wandering there. Maybe someday I will understand it, but the more I read on PPROM, I feel like I should have tried to wait it out more. I read this stuff now so I can be more informed for our next pregnancy, some day. Does anyone else find themselves on problem pregnancy sites to try and figure out how to keep the same thing from hapening again? Just still so darn frustrated with the way our OB office handled me. The what ifs...oh I do not like those, but again, hard to stop from entering your mind. Oh well.

Hope everyone has a good week, think happy thoughts, right?!
Love, Nan xo


  1. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Your friendship has been such a blessing to me.
    So many days I find myself fighting the what ifs. You did everything you could, don't you ever think differently. Some days I wish I could go back and deliver them all together. So I could have held all three together. To save myself the infection and 2 deliveries. We both did what we had to do. XOXO Love you, Steph

  2. Nan I am so glas that you have been having some happy days, your girls would want that for you. Whenever my mind starts to go to the day when I lost our girls, I quickly change the subject in my head. It hurts so much to relive it. I too fight the what-ifs, I think it is inevitable for us. Thinking of you!!